Program Director’s Note - Personal Statement Pitfalls
What to avoid when you write a personal statement for fellowship (or any position)
Hi everyone,
With fellowship personal statements finished and posted, let’s devote today’s note to pitfalls. This year’s essays were thoughtful and compelling, reflecting hours of self-editing. I read every one, and with few exceptions, I returned them with comments and suggestions. So, while they’re fresh in my mind, here are some of the most common ways essays go astray:
Superlative City- Presumably to create the impression that they like endocrinology, nephrology, rheumatology, etc. more than anybody, some applicants unleash an unhinged barrage of supercharged synonyms—captivated, awed, enthralled, fascinated, mesmerized—often delivered in a single paragraph of praise for their beloved field that collapsed under the heft of heavy handedness.
What’s In It For Me?- Some applicants believe fellowship directors want to know if candidates will find fulfillment in their specialty. But your fulfillment is secondary. Fellowship directors seek applicants who will contribute. To paraphrase President Kennedy, “Ask not what cardiology can do for you, ask what you can do for cardiology.”
Extraneous Information- Every word of the personal statement should aim to persuade fellowships to choose you. Your memories of Grandpa’s scratchy beard or the aroma of Grandma’s brownies don’t make you a better candidate, though you could pitch your piece to The New Yorker.
Purple Prose- Beyond a sentence or two, don’t waste space professing your infatuation with the field. A paragraph waxing poetic on ARDS, another on asthma, and a third on sleep apnea might work as a preface to a textbook, but it leaves no space to describe your professional plans.
Burying the Lede- A paragraph on growing up on the streets of Flushing, another on playing stickball in the schoolyard, and another on moving to the city for college will leave readers skimming to the part where you divulge that you’re applying in PCCM.* Just explain why you chose the field, ideally in the first sentence, and move on.
Missing the Essentials- Personal statements are incomplete unless they include: 1) why you’re applying in the field, 2) how you hope to contribute, 3) which skills you wish to acquire, 4) what you seek in a program, and 5) what you plan to do after training.
Failure to Stand Out- The goal is to distinguish yourself from other applicants. You can’t prove you love a specialty more than anyone else, no matter what superlative you pull off the shelf (see above). And you won’t stand out if you limit your scope (“as a gastroenterologist, I hope to scope”). Do you have special insights? Do you aim to develop innovative technologies or contribute to science? Show what makes you special.
TL/DR- No matter how compelling you think your essay is, limit yourself to one page. Selection committees read hundreds of essays each year, and you don’t want them to moan “oh no” when they open your tome. The less you write, the more they’ll read.
Don’t Rehash Your CV- Here’s what fails: “I published 15 peer-reviewed articles (6 first author), and I gave 3 oral presentations (one awarded best presentation).” CVs are tedious. Use the PS to supercharge your application.
Generic Fascination: Only [insert specialty] allows me to think, use my hands, develop longitudinal relationships, and apply scientific insights. The attendings in [insert specialty] are the smartest and most caring in medicine. No specialty is as exciting as [insert specialty]. Seriously?
I Seek an Average Slice of Pizza: That’s what I think when an applicant writes “I’m looking for a program that will challenge me, expose me to a diverse population, and offer cutting edge clinical care in a supportive environment.” I guarantee no program director is going to read this and think “yay, that’s us!” Be specific about your wish to pursue unique opportunities you can’t get everywhere, like master’s level training in education, exposure to transplant, participation in phase I clinical trials, etc. Most of you aspire to programs that hope to train future faculty, and acquiring special skills is your ticket to an academic position after fellowship.
When you finish writing your personal statement, there’s one question left to ask: “Will this essay lead a program to choose me?” Your goal is to make the answer to that all important question “yes.” The rest is pitfall.
Enjoy your Sunday, everyone. I’m heading out to the bike trail.
Mark
*Besides, that’s my story.
P.S. What I’m reading and listening to:
I Teach Creative Writing. This Is What A.I. Is Doing to Students. By Meghan O’Rourke
Why Amanda Anisimova’s emotional post-match interview was a masterclass in handling failure By Rustin Dodd
One Rural Doctor on the Cuts to Medicaid On The Daily
A Push for More Organ Transplants Is Putting Donors at Risk By Brian M. Rosenthal and Julie Tate
A New Era of Hunger Has Begun By Tracy Kidder
The Sunday Morning Post: Why Exercise Is a Miracle Drug By Derek Thompson
The Great Gatsby By F. Scott Fitzgerald
P.P.S. The winner of the ice cream contest was Sweet Claude’s. Arethusa Farm came in #2 in our family, but it was, and always will be, my #1.
MDS
Dinner with Mom